Oh hey it's me 🙋♀️The same girl who has been complaining about wedding planning for the last 6 months is here to tell you that there IS actually something worse than the wedding planning process: its called "going through the entire wedding planning process just to have to call everything off last minute because of a global pandemic." Who woulda thought?!
Ok so I'm obviously a little bitter, and if you read my #CoronaBrides Post, you get it. Obviously, in the grand scheme of things, postponing a wedding is a small problem to have. We all know that. But at the same time, we Corona Brides (CB's) are allowed to feel sad, disappointed, angry, overwhelmed [insert negative emotion of choice] etc, so let us be. After just going through the process myself, I have some insights:
The hardest part is making the decision.
I could probably do an entirely separate post on just this, but I promise you, this is the worst part. The decision feels momentous. You have put in so much time, money, effort, hopes/dreams into this one day and there is so much unknown. It would be easier if someone just came on TV and said "HEY, SH*T WONT BE OK BY JULY 18TH* but nobody truly knows, and the uncertainty can drive you crazy. Here are some things to consider if you are trying to make the call:
1. Will our guests be safe? EVERY wedding is different, so ask yourself some of these questions: Does your wedding require guests to travel by airplane or is it local? Is your wedding location in a hot zone? Are there Mass gathering restrictions in your wedding location? (You can check the CDC website for that one) Is it a large or small gathering? Would you be comfortable having Grandma there?
2. IF we move it, what are our options? Before you make the call, know your game plan. Call your wedding planner (and if you don't have a wedding planner THIS IS A FANTASTIC TIME TO GET ONE. If you're on a budget, I highly suggest a virtual planner via Flutter Social. Check out this post) If you don't have a wedding planner, call your vendors and find out if you can move the date or get a refund. Get a list of the dates they have available and see if you can find a new date that fits most, if not all of your vendors. Again, I can't stress enough how nice it was to have a virtual wedding planner do this for us. Worth every cent.
3. Get on the same page with your future spouse. My fiance is a sweet guy. During the decision-making process he kept saying, "whatever you want to do, I'm fine with" not realizing that left ALL of the pressure of the decision on my shoulders. I finally explained that I needed this to be a joint decision and so we busted out a good ol' Pro and Con list. This might not seem like a revolutionary idea, but putting out all of our fears on paper so we could look at them objectively was incredibly therapeutic. Also, when everything was put on paper it made the choice very clear for us: we had to postpone.
OK so now you've made the decision. Time to communicate with your vendors and guests.
Vendors: In Step 2 above, you already communicated that postponing was a possibility and hopefully gotten a few dates to choose from in the future. You may be thinking, "Can't I just postpone and not pick a new date yet?" and you can, but here's the thing; Most weddings in 2020 are getting pushed, so new dates are getting booked up and fast. As a July 2020 bride, I was kind of shocked that the rest of 2020 was completely booked and I would need to push to 2021. My new date is in June 2021 and even though its OVER a year away, it was tough to secure that date! Most of my vendors were already booked through Spring 2021 by Corona Brides. I tell you this not to scare you, but just to prepare you so you're not blindsided when you may need to push your date a little further than you think. (On the bright side, the further out, the safer you may be, right?!)
Guests: Now for the fun part (I guess?) Lots of CB's have gotten very creative with their postponement announcements, and while this SUCKS, you can still have a little fun with it. There are so many templates on Etsy to choose from and you can send a formal version in the mail or just do an email template. I opted for the email version and I would argue this is the way to go for a few reasons:
- Email let's your guests know ASAP (for our guests, the sooner they got the message the sooner they could change their travel plans. AND the less questions I would get on a daily basis from friends and family)
- It's cheaper / easier. (My CB's, this process is hard enough. Go easy on yourself)
- Your guests DO NOT Care. If anything, they feel for you. AND it was nice to get immediate messages back from friends the night we sent the email.
- Better for the environment (I already feel guilty about the Save the Dates we sent with our original date on them. Sorry, Earth.
- Hate to say it, but your date may change again. We don't know how things are going to play out and it would SUCK to spend the time/money on formal new Postponement/ Save the Dates and then have to postpone again. My CB's who are on your 2nd postponement *virtual hug*
Wondering what to say in your communication? I love this article from Minted that has copy and paste templates of exactly what to send your guests. When looking at Etsy templates, they also have verbiage you can use. We took this template and just tweaked the messaging to make it more personal. Below is exactly what we sent, if you need some inspo:
Once you send out your communication, it's time for the most important step of all: Take a deep breath and chill TF out. You just bought yourself more time and no longer have this stress hanging over your head. For me, I honestly felt a hugeeee wave of relief after we pulled the trigger. The night we sent the email I had a nice big 'ol glass of OneHope Wine and slept for the first time without those crazy wedding nightmares. (Side note, is anyone else having wedding night terrors or is that just me?) Are you ready for the good news? You are going to have a beautiful wedding and this is only going to add to the excitement and the story you get to tell your kids one day. ALSO, remember that you are one of the lucky ones who actually found your person and get to marry them! You are going to be Husband & Wife ( or Wife & Wife, Husband & Husband, Wife & Goat, whatever you're into) for the REST of your lives, enjoy this extra time to be fiances. It's a precious time. This is all going to work out (eventually) and please take comfort in knowing we are all in this together.
CB GANG FOR LIFE
SM